What Are You Looking For?

Dija of Mavins (One of the members of the biggest music dynasty in Nigeria) is my friend/sister. She became my friend months before she was signed onto Mavins and she is one young woman I really respect and love. 

Well, during one of our many talks before she became Nigeria's sweetheart, she told me something I'll never forget and something I want to share with you all as 2015 draws to a close. She said "Dara, the funny thing in this life is, whatever you are looking for is right where you started." 

She is very right and I was reminded of how right she is today. I decided to clear out an old shelf in my room and sort out all the old books on it from my primary school days to my uni days. I had completely forgotten I used to make magazines and sell to my friends in years 5& 6, so when I saw one of the magazines tucked away at the bottom of the shelf, it took my breath away. You see, I had decided very early on that I wasn't going to be another Nigerian girl that went to uni in England to do law and then abandon my degree later on. For some reason unbeknownst to me, finding my "passion" or studying what I really want to be studying was very important to me. 

It took me two confusing and very difficult years of uncertainty and many many career talks and private discussions to finally (re-)discover that the media is where my heart is at. My heart knew it in year 5 & 6 when I was a shy little girl 'publishing' and selling THREE different magazines but I had somehow convinced my head that law was what I was called to do in life. I thank God for not giving me peace about law and I thank God for redirecting me back to the beginning. But, I can't help but wonder if those two years would have happened and were necessary if I had somehow just remembered where I started or somehow stumbled upon this magazine then. 

I really believe that God has a hand on my life so I'm not too bothered about those two years now but at the same time, I kinda wish somebody would have just said, "Dara honey, your answer is right where you started. Look back." As we prepare to enter in 2016, I want to tell some, (not all) of you, that maybe, just maybe, the answer that you seek really isn't rocket science and that maybe, just maybe, the answer you so desperately seek is where you started.

I wish you all a wonderful and lovely new year!! 

From the bottom of my heart,

Dara Rhodes

Nigeria Concerns You!!!

I just watched something that made me cry. Tears of anger and pain and tears of deep sadness. As a media student, you are taught to be almost skeptical of the industry and to analyse every information you receive via the media so my mind subconsciously approached the video with guarded caution.

However, half way through it I caught myself, let my guard down and just watched it. Not with my head or media brain but with my heart and then it made me cry. I know the video had a motive but at this point, I couldn't care less about that because it said the truth. The truths every Nigerian has lived through, or seen or heard. I've written it over and over again on this blog and I will keep writing it till it is no longer true. Nigeria is a mess! A huge mess and even more than the government, the people that think it doesn't really corncern them (the middle class and upper middle class), are the biggest contributors to this mess!

It concerns you! Everything about Nigeria concerns you! The politics of the country corncerns you! Yes, you reading this! IT CONCERNS YOU! It concerns you if you are Nigerian (regardless of if you live in the country or not), it corncerns you if you have Nigerian children, it concerns you if you live and work in the country. It concerns you!

I am sick and tired of middle to upper middle class Nigerians constantly behaving like the affairs of the country don't corncern them till it starts affecting their very personal pockets! Those classes are the most selfish if you ask me! The upper classes could easily pretend it doesn't concern them too but many of them are even the most corncerned. 

I've said it before on this blog and I'll repeat it again now! All is NOT well with Nigeria! Don't be deceived! If you think that you are okay because you have a nice little house in Lekki or Banana Island now and your children go to a better school than you did, I pity you! You better be worried! Yes! Maybe if we were all worried about the country, maybe something would have changed. I write about Nigeria because I'm constantly worried about the country. I wasn't born in America, so how can I not be worried?! I literally don't have another country. (Another discussion entirely).

I've seen that the moment I leave my house and family, everybody else in the city seems to be fine with the unfineness (permit my use of this word) of the country! Stop suffering and smiling! I grew up listening to Fela and I am tired of seeing all his 'prophesies' about Nigeria come to pass! Stop pretending like our sick, sick country is well! Drop the fascade, start actively behaving like everything concerns you and maybe, just maybe, our sick country will slowly start getting better. 

Now, watch the video; http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/how-a-cancer-of-corruption-steals-nigerian-oil-weapons-and-lives/ 

With all my love, 

Dara Rhodes 

Well done, England.

              Photo: Duks arts

Clap for yourselves! You have successfully deported 500 Nigerians! Congratulations! How do you feel? I hope you feel wonderful! I can't even be angry with England. No, I can't, you have to protect your own country. 

My real anger is at my country. Nigeria. Would all those people have illegally clung to England if Nigeria valued their lives? Would they all have refused to voluntarily go back home if they knew they had something to go back home to? I love Nigeria but truthfully, Nigeria disgusts me! Fela was right as usual. We complain of racism but we treat ourselves worse. I wonder what would happen if all the Nigerians in England left and boycotted the country. I wonder if Tatler Magazine would have to write an article titled, "The Nigerians have left" in response to the one they wrote titled, "The Nigerians have arrived". I wonder if the boarding schools and unis in England would suffer but most importantly, I wonder if Nigeria and the Nigerians at home would be ready for all the 'I just got back' people. 

My grandparents on my paternal and maternal side destroyed (burnt) their British passports when they were a little older than I am now. That was how much they believed in their own country and their generation. It is so sad that the country they proudly rejected is now disgracefully rejecting their own fellow Nigerian citizens. I feel sorry for the deportees but this is not the end. No, far from it, in fact this is the beginning.

Sure, you are allowed to feel all the initial emotions from shame to fear of the unknown but don't get stuck there. You are home now and no one can take this one away from you. If you hadn't been to Nigeria in a while, I have good news. Nigeria has changed and is changing in amazing ways. Not necessarily because of the new government (far from it to be honest) but because Nigerians are changing. The landscape is changing. There are numerous opportunities now, you just have to be open to them and be willing to work. 

I love Nigeria! Yes, I said I'm disgusted by her but I love her nonetheless. And I hope you all fall in love with her too! I pray for strength for you and I pray you see that the Nigeria you left all those many years ago is not the same one you have returned to. (Though it may seem so at first) 

Have a wonderful evening/day you all! 

With all my love,

Dara Rhodes

100th post.

Hello beautiful people,

I spent the 1st of November 2015, reflecting. The biggest most important lesson I've learnt this year is, all things go. Good, bad, dynasties, governments, people, friends, family, jobs, problems etc go. All things go. 

Cherish every moment and every person because they will go. And you will never get them back once they are gone. I leave you with the words of Nicki Minaj from her hit song.

Photo: typewriterquotemeup.com

With all my love,
Dara Rhodes

Kings and Queens

Hello beautiful people, 

                                                 Photo credit: hbansari.wordpress.com

A queen/king can fall, fail and lose but that doesn't mean she/he is not a queen/king. 

You can lock up a queen/king, beat her/him and maltreat her/him but that doesn't mean her/his throne still isn't there. 

A queen/king can get her/his hands dirty but it doesn't mean her/his hands no longer belong to the queen/ king.

You can even take away her/his crown and keep her/him in the darkest part of your house for months and years, she/he is still a queen/king. 

No matter what you do to a queen/king and no matter how far away from her/his throne you take her/him, she/he will survive because she/he knows that her/his throne is waiting. It will always be waiting. 

You may not have a kingdom or be born into royalty but are the queen/king of your life never, ever forget that. 

With all my love,

Dara Rhodes

Much of life is complicated.

"All you really need to know for the moment is that the universe is a lot more complicated than you might think, even if you start from a position of thinking it's pretty damn complicated in the first place."- Douglas Adams.

Hello beautiful people,

Can you believe we are in October already?! I most certainly can't. I hope you all have had a good year so far, and if you haven't, I hope the rest of the year turns out amazing! 

Since the last time I wrote on here, two major things have happened.

 1) My best guy friend (see last post) and I have kinda made up. 

2) My beloved country, Nigeria celebrated her 55th year of independence. 

I'll start with Nigeria. On the 1st of October, I wrote a post but didn't post it because it read too much like the Independence Day post I wrote last year. (Not much had changed to me). However, today, I went to church and at the end of the service, we sang the national anthem and I cried. I hadn't sung or really listened to our anthem in such a long time, I'd forgotten how beautiful it is. Yes, everything I wrote in the post on Thursday is true- I'm still angry with Nigeria and I don't think we are really independent yet- but (and a very big but) I really, really love Nigeria. It's a very complicated thing in my head.

Unto number two. My best guy friend. I expressed my total dislike for him in my last post and even though only very little has changed, something has changed and for the simple fact that he is truly my best friend, that little change had me willing to forgive him. Again. This situation is also very complicated in my head. I love him but hate him so much too. I told my close cousin the situation yesterday and his reply was one of the best things I've heard all year. "Dara, best friendships are complicated. Infact, much of life is complicated."

In response, I nodded my head in agreement but I couldn't help thinking about his words today. He is very right. My love for Nigeria and my best friend are two very very different things but somehow the same; complicated. And guess what? It is okay. I am/was such a perfectionist, everything in my life had to be either white or black. All the grey areas were not allowed to be grey, they had to pick a side. That is good sometimes, but sometimes, one (me and maybe you) has to realise that life isn't just black and white. It does have grey, blue, yellow and every other colour that has ever been discovered. You can love somebody or a country and get mad or angry at the person or country. We can fight and make up and fight again and make up again. We can hate our countries and run to other countries and run back to ours again and run to other countries when we begin to hate our country again. Please by all means be a stable human but when life becomes complicated as it often tends to, don't despair. Why? Well, because much of life is extremely complicated.

     Photo: keshavasari.wordpress.com

With all my love,

Dara Rhodes

It's Really Not That Amazing

Hello beautiful people,

         Photo: quotesvalley.com

I know it has been a while but I've been busy living and enjoying 21. Omg! 21! Sometimes I still need somebody to pinch me, I can't believe I'm 21! The oldies will think I'm utterly ridiculous but I feel like I'm getting old, people. :'( Anyway, away with all the talk about ageing, I'm here to write about something completely different today.

The summer I turned sixteen, I wanted something. As I was in an all girls boarding school in England at that time, I knew I was going to have to work for it, but I wanted it nonetheless. I didn't know what it would do to me or how it would affect the next 5 years of my life if I got it, but I wanted it. And what Dara Rhodes wants, she gets. Thus, in my usual manner, I scoured the internet for information on the subject and read every word about it on every website I could find, determined to get it and do it very differently. 

So what exactly did I want? Simple. I wanted a boy best friend. Lol, yes. A Nigerian boy best friend, might I add. I have an amazing girl best friend but I wanted the boy best friend I had read about one too many times. I wanted the wonderful one that was always there, the one that listened and did everything the blogs described. I was convinced my life needed a male best friend to balance my friendship triangle and so I went out and got one. Lol, it wasn't that easy but it almost was. A month before my birthday, one innocent (well, not so innocent now) boy asked me out and there I saw my perfect opportunity. I said, I'd much rather be your best friend and he begrudgingly accepted after telling me boys and girls can't be friends. Armed with my determination and unshakeable will power, we began our best friendship. 

We fought every time we met up (not entirely sure why) but met up every single day of that summer regardless. It was amazing and heart wrenching at the exact same time but we trugded on. I went back to England and he went to uni in America. We didn't speak when we were apart but once Summer/Christmas arrived and we were both in Lagos, it was like we had never been apart. We fought and hung out all the time, everyday. 

To cut a very long story short, after 5 painful and awesome years as best friends, he is no longer my best friend or even friend at all now (or at least till we are both in Lagos next year). Though he came with an extra special dose of unique issues, I think I agree with whoever said boys and girls can't be best friends. We will always love ourselves (or at least I will always love him) but we just simply hurt each other too much.

The day after my 21st, I called him and informed him of my decision to break up our best friendship and I think he was shocked or maybe he wasn't (you never know with him). It was a break up like none other so I didn't quite know what to expect (I've never 'broken up' with my best friend before) but it was difficult. It felt like a real break up and even though he is still the second person (my girl best friend is the first) I always want to share my good/bad news with but can't, it is getting slightly easier everyday. 

The point of this beautiful sob story? Getting what you want isn't all it's cracked up to be. Every single time I've gotten what I wanted, which is 99% of the time ( I've perfected the art!), I've been minorly if not grossly disappointed. So the next time you don't get what you want, don't get your knickers in a twist, simply thank your stars and move on, after all, they could be saving you from five years of avoidable pain. Lol!

But then again, I have just acquired a new boy best friend and he is really that amazing! Lol! 

Have a wonderful day/ evening!

With all my love, 

Dara Rhodes

Breathe. Just breathe.

"I wake up everyday and I think, 'I'm breathing! It's a good day.'"- Eve Ensler

                                                 Photo: americanpregnancy.org                                                     

I woke up one day and realised something very scary. I had stopped breathing. I was alive (of course) but I wasn't breathing. My breath was constantly held waiting for the next minute or trip or (not so important) very important thing I had to do. When I got into the car, I didn't notice the streets or the people around me anymore, my breath was held and my eyes fixed on the road before me like I was the one driving. When I entered buildings, I didn't notice anything or anyone around me and just went straight up to the reason why I was there. When I lay in my bed at night, my breath was held as my mind planned all the trips I had to take and things I had to do. When I ate my dinner, I held my breath as my head churned and churned over my plans for my 21st birthday this year. (1st of August)

 In all honesty, my 20th year was difficult. I lost people that were very real to me (for the first time in my life), I had to deal with constant changes like I had never had to before and whenever I thought I couldn't deal with another change, another change happened. (on the bright side, I dealt with them all! :D). Today as I think back on this past year, there's only one word that seems apt and that is, breathe. Breathe.

 Many, many, many times, we forget to breathe. I think of Bobbi Kristina (may her precious soul rest in peace) and my heart breaks. Maybe because she was just a year older than me or maybe because I'm a lot more aware of death now but that could have been me. I could have been the one that died yesterday. It didn't have to be the way she died but I could have died. All her hopes, fears and dreams don't matter now. All our hopes, fears and dreams won't matter once we are gone so why do we spend so much of our time here holding our breaths? We really are only here for a short time even if you die at 100 years old, so please breathe. I know breathing may seem like a difficult concept for some us to grasp but believe it or not, your body is doing it every second of the day. You just need to remind your mind to do the same. 

I woke up today and decided to cancel all my very OTT plans for my 21st this year and just have a very simple and nice dinner with my immediate family. I refuse to not breathe this next year of my life and my other plans would have ensured that. That's just the first battle, I'm sure next year is going to be ridden with so many other breathing battles but hey, as long as I breathe, I win. So, here's to the next year of my life and to all you beautiful beautiful people that read my little blog, breathe.

                                                               Photo: mycamera

Have a wonderful day beautiful people.

With all my love,

Dara Rhodes

Goodluck America!

Hello beautiful people,

"Just because we sin differently doesn't make our sin any less sin."

      Photo: www.politico.com

Anybody that knows me well (probably only my sisters) knows that I'm the biggest, baddest walking bag of contradictions. I can't stand vulgarity, but I love Nicki Minaj. I love Beyoncé's work ethic but can't stand half of her songs. I love God but I don't like church half the time and so on and so forth. 

The legislation of Gay marriage in America has been on mind for a while mais (but in French) I've been too exhausted to write my thoughts. Anybody that knows me well will probably also expect me to say I can't stand gay people, the Bible is against homosexuality and every other thing a staunch Christian would say. However, today, after reading countless articles and tweets for and against the law, all I have to say is, live and let live. Literally. Yes, the Bible says homosexuality is wrong but we all do things that the Bible says are wrong. Christians steal, lie, cheat, commit adultery and fornication all the time so who are we to judge homosexuals? 

I'm sick and tired of Christians rambling on about how this is an abormination in the sight of the Lord. Half of the things, human beings do are aborminations. I have absolutely no problem with America because 1) everybody deserves equality (gay, straight, black and white) 2) even if I had a problem, it wouldn't change anything. 3) (I think so many non-Americans forget this one) America is not my country! And mine has its own myriad of problems too!

Finally, whether I'm completely wrong for writing this and having this opinion or not, what we all should be doing is wishing America goodluck because whether or not we agree with the law, that country needs luck. So, goodluck America!! I wish you all the best. 

Oh and happy new month people!! 

With all my love, 

Dara Rhodes 

New Money? Really?

Hello beautiful people, 

At the start of this year, I took a break from tv, not because I was addicted to it or anything like that, but because I found it a complete waste of my time. 

     Photo: tvbythenumbers.zap2it.com

Anyway, yesterday morning, I decided to see what I had missed if I missed anything at all, and put on my television. After scanning all the DSTV channels and coming up short of anything vaguely interesting, I settled on E. And what happened? Two minutes later (I kid you not, it was exactly two minutes later) an advert came on for a show called "New money". New money, guys!!! E! Couldn't even conceal the show's intentions in its title.

I stopped twiddling with my phone and focused on the screen for the entirety of the ad, desperately hoping that the name of the show isn't literal. If you've never seen it or heard of the show, well, it's exactly what it says. It's an "unscripted" show about newly moneyed people spending/flaunting money in that disgusting manner only new moneyed people can. I thought "Rich kids of Beverly Hills" was bad but I guess bad can always get worse. 

Maybe that's even the moral of this story. Bad can always get worse. If you think you have it as bad as it can get, I'm sorry to be the one breaking the news but darling it can always get worse (a lot worse). Thus, as Monty Python ever so wonderfully sang, always look on the bright side of life. Because your bad, is still really the bright side in the grand scheme of things. While you are busy groaning about Rich kids of Beverly Hills (or what you think is bad), E! (Or life) is cooking up a "New money" show (Worse). 

So yes, I watched tv after six months and saw an advert for a show called "New money" that showed me that what I thought was bad "rich kids" could get a lot worse and I (ever so lovingly) thought it best to share this tiny nugget of wisdom with you all! Lol!

Have a wonderful day y'all!! 

With all my love,

Dara Rhodes

Travesty (6)

"There's only one side to every story in this city and don't tell me you think the slut may have a valid point. How can someone just heartlessly destroy another person's happiness?" Funke asked dazed. "Where has the child been? She obviously didn't need Desmond before now so why did she steal poor Susan's joy?"

 

Lara nodded as they entered the elevator, all the while her heart thumping in her chest and her mind praying that Tolu had not returned from wherever she went. Funke sounded and looked like she'd kill them both if she found her in her flat. The elevator doors opened to a spotless living room. Lucy must have moved her suitcases into one of the spare rooms.

 

"Good afternoon madams," Lucinda said hurrying towards them. "The food is ready, I was just setting it out."

 

"It's okay, we are not hungry," Lara said dismissively, carefully looking for signs of Tolu and praying for none at the same time. "I'm going to my parents house earlier than normal," she said and Funke stared at her confused.

 

"I hope you are not going earlier to tell them what I've just told you," She said and crossed her arms. "That information is the definition of confidential."

 

Lara grabbed her arm and led her out of the living room, scared Tolu may appear at any minute, "Let's go to my room."

 

Funke jumped on her bed and smiled, "I love your bed. It always smells like what I imagine heaven smells like," She said and sniffed her pillows.

 

Lara forced a smile and changed out of her church clothes. "Surely they are not going to announce the annulment of the wedding yet. That will be too shameful,"

 

"You disappoint me constantly, Lara." Funke said and pouted. "Don't you know where you are. Of course not. Apparently they agreed to fake the marriage for two years. Susan is relocating to New York next month since Desmond can't leave his business in Lagos and she doesn't want to be in the same country with him,"

 

"Wow! My best friend is really a gossip whore," Lara said and pulled one of her silver evening dresses over her head. "There is no way I'd know all this information if you were not my best friend."

 

Funke shrugged. "All is ask in return is that you pray for long life for me." She said and rolled unto her tummy. "It'd be such a pity to die young, life is too wonderful and there is still so much to experience," She paused and studied her friend, "Are you sure you are alright? And isn't it a bit too early to be getting reading for tonight?"

 

"Yes and no. Yes, I'm fine and no, its not too early to be getting ready." Lara said and re-did her make-up in the mirror. "I need to get there early so I can speak to my father alone," She turned to face Funke, "are you coming tonight?"

 

"As much as I would love to, I literally don't have anymore strength in me to smile my way through a three hours dinner," She replied and rolled her eyes. "But don't worry, I'll make sure Tim is there," She gasped and grabbed her phone from her bag, "Speaking of which, I'm sure he'll tell me he has forgotten if I don't get home now and lay out his suit for him like his little maid." She rose from the bed and groaned. "Boys are babies, never forget that and your marriage to Ade may just be successful,"

 

"Boys are babies," Lara repeated. "Got it and thank you for the mighty words of wisdom."

 

Funked laughed and pecked her cheeks, "You know I love you honey, but I really must go now."

 

Lara breathed relief, "It's okay. Just tell Samuel to drop you." She pecked her best friend and watched her leave her room gracefully. She stood still and waited to hear Lucy say goodbye. Once she was sure Funke had left the flat, Lara crept out of her room in search of Tolu.

 

"Lucy, has my friend arrived?" She asked when she saw her clearing the dinning table of all the unused cutlery and uneaten dishes of yam, eggs and beef stew.

 

"No, ma." Lucy replied and Lara exhaled. "She hasn't arrived yet but I have set up Mr Danteta's room for her,"

 

"Why did you do that?" Lara asked with irritation. "She can't sleep in Ade's room, move her upstairs."

 

"I'm sorry ma and okay, ma, I'll do that now,"

 

"Once Samuel returns, let me know, I am going for dinner earlier than normal,"

 

"Yes ma," Lucy replied and Lara left her and went back to her room to finish getting ready. 

With all my love,

Dara Rhodes

Travesty (5)

Elizabeth smiled at her daughter and squeezed her hand back as the pastor ended his prayer. 

"Amen!" They all chorused. 

 She was immediately torn away from Lara by all the people that wanted to 'greet' her and Femi, the same people that 'greeted' them every Sunday. Lara watched her parents smile and laugh with their friends and wondered if they ever got tired of playing the almighty king and queen.

 

"Let's get out of here before those lost causes swamp us with their vile invitations."

 

Lara spun round to face her best friend and couldn't help herself but laugh. "Don't be so mean Funks" She said. "The least we can do is collect the invitations."

 

Funke dragged her arm and led her towards the door, "Well, not today. We have things to discuss."

 

Lara looked back at Timothy talking to some of his friends, "Funks what about your husband? Are you just going to leave him?

 

"What about him? Is he a baby? We came in different cars and I told him I was leaving with you."

 

Lara shook her head when they reached the door, "Don't you want to at least say goodbye?" She knew the moment Funks left her, all the people she didn't want to talk to, would pounce on her and start silly conversations but she didn't feel it was alright for her to just leave her husband.

 

"That's your problem," Funke said as she stopped and looked at her, "You are a hopeless romantic. The children are not back till tomorrow evening so we don't have to eat together tonight." She grabbed her arm again, "Come on, let's go."

 

"To where? You just keep saying let's go. Where are we going?"

 

"To your flat of course. We have things to discuss."

 

Richard rushed to them as they descended the church stairs amid the 'paparazzi' frenzy. Lara leaned in closer to Funke and whispered, "Like what?" while maintaining her smile.

 

"Shhh. Not here," Funke replied. "God forbid somebody hears what I'm about to tell you."

 

They both slid into the back seat of Lara's car and once they were out of the church compound, she turned to her friend but Funke pointed at Richard and Samuel in front and shook her head. "Not here either. Wait till we are in your room. I promise you, it'll be worth it." Lara thought hard about what Funke could have to say but came up clueless.

 

"My God, I love Lagos," Funke said suddenly. "The energy, lies and scandals in this city are unmatched."

 

"Don't taunt me." Lara replied dryly. "We are nearly at my flat."

 

Funke smiled playfully and put her hand over Lara's hand. "Alright, I'll tell you now," She glanced at the driver and body guard and moved closer to her friend. "You know Desmond Dorset?"

 

Lara nodded. "Yes, Susan married him yesterday. I was there without you remember?" She said and smiled.

 

"Now is not a time to be sarcastic, Lara. This is very very serious" Funke scolded.

 

Lara sat up in her chair and tried to feign seriousness. "You are really full of it, Funks. Just spit it out already."

 

"Okay, well, the wedding you attended yesterday is already on the rocks." Funke said smugly and blew her manicured nails.

 

Lara furrowed her eyebrows, "What do you mean? They seemed happy and in love."

 

"And if there's anything you know better than anyone in this city, isn't it that looks are very deceiving?"

 

Lara nodded and swallowed, "What happened or what is happening?"

 

"Well, it turned out Mr Dorset, isn't as single as he claimed."

 

Lara put her hand over her mouth. "No way. Please don't tell me he has a wife and three point five children in London"

 

"At this point, that might even be better." Funke said and smirked. "On the bright side, at least now we know why Tolu Abebe is in Lagos."

 

Lara froze. "Oh my gosh! Is he married to Tolu?"

 

"No honey!" She exclaimed and then whispered, "Tolu has a six year old boy for Desmond."

 

Lara's jaw dropped and she stared at her best friend. "That is impossible."

 

"Close your mouth honey, that is so un lady like. And this is Lagos remember? Nothing is impossible."

 

Lara shook her head vigourously. "Oh Lord, please tell me this isn't true,"

 

"It is darling. And the worst part? Desmond never told Susan so when that little bitch Tolu sent the undeniably cute baby's pictures to their hotel room last night along with the DNA results, in typical Susan manner, she exploded and told her mother to annul the wedding. So that has either already happened or is probably happening right now,"

 

"oh no. This is terrible."

 

"I know. I don't like that Susan girl but my heart goes out to her, nobody should have to go through this. God help that useless Tolu I ever lay my eyes on her, I will kill her. Lara, ha! The heart of man is desperately wicked oh. Apparently, she is very loose, you should hear what the boys are saying about her, all of them had met her somewhere in the world. I guess it's only us girls that wondered where she was all these years."

 

The car pulled into Lara's garage and she felt like throwing up. She stepped out of her car and her legs felt like jelly, the most hated girl in Lagos was probably in her flat right now.

 

"Are you okay?" Funke asked. "I know you like that Susan girl and that was why I wanted to wait till we were in your room, so you could cry for her freely,"

 

"I am fine." Lara replied. "And I am sure there are two sides to the story."

 

With all my love,

Dara Rhodes

Travesty (4)

The next morning at ten o'clock, two suitcases cases arrived at Lara's apartment but Tolu was nowhere in sight. Lara left instructions with Lucy to let her in when she eventually appeared and then went to church. As her car pulled into the spacious car park of Archbishop Vining Memorial Church, her heart fluttered and she adjusted her black vintage pillbox hat on her head. Going to church every Sunday in Lagos was like brushing one's teeth, everyone went to church, you only missed church when you were out of the country. Richard opened her door for her and as she expected, the 'paps' where waiting to capture her on their cameras. She pulled down her blue velvet sleeveless dress so it just touched her knees and smiled for all of them as she went up the stairs to the church hall.

 

Despite the rumours that the church was supposedly the oldest church in Lagos, the floors were cream marble and ghastly chandeliers hung sparingly across the room thanks to its many generous and wealthy members. The stained glasses were replaced with new ones from Rome every Christmas and the pastor was constantly thanking someone for donating the "best organ in the world to the church." Every sunday was an elegant affair and the hall looked more like a venue for an award ceremony in Hollywood than a place of worship. Lara had never been to church on time but Funke told her that a red carpet was rolled out every morning for the early comers or on time members. The only thing that reminded one that they were at church was the thick smell of incense that swayed in the air.

 

The crammed hall was full of all the usual people, politicians, socialites and their little children all dressed in ridiculously expensive dresses and suits with diamonds and gold dripping off their bodies. Even though Lara was two hours late, the first usher that saw her, smiled and ushered her to the front pew where both her parents were seated. Her mother pecked her cheeks as she sat beside her and whispered, "You look beautiful sweetheart." Her father nodded sternly in acknowledgement of her and looked straight ahead of him at the pastor like he was receiving a special word. Ade's mother, who sat on the pew behind them, leaned forward and pecked Lara's cheek and smiled widely like she hadn't seen her in years even though they saw themselves just four days ago. Ade's father was nowhere in sight, but he was probably on a business or pleasure trip, Lara thought. The overpowering smell of her mother and Ade's mother's perfume combined, always made her stomach churn and today was no exception. After all the stares at her dress subsided, Lara settled into her seat and looked round the church to take a quick inventory of who was present today and who she was going to avoid after the service.

 

Funke sat three pews behind her and rolled her eyes when they met Lara's eyes and Lara smiled. She was unconventionally beautiful and what she wore was as important to her as drinking water every day. Her husband, Timothy, sat beside her looking very serious and clean as usual. Nobody really understood how their marriage worked because they were such complete opposites. Funke was this airhead, who only cared about clothes and fashion weeks and Tim was a thoroughly well bred business man who doubled his family's money since he took over the business after he graduated with a first class from New York University. One would have expected him to marry an equally thoroughly bred woman but like so many mysteries in Lagos, he chose Funke. He smiled politely at Lara when he saw her looking his way. Towards the back of the church, she noticed the wannabe girls her age that were over dressed in clothes you could tell were cheap. They all sat up and smiled with too much enthusiasm when they saw her eyes on them. They were not part of the circle because they went to school and university in Lagos but they wanted to belong to the social circle so badly that they tried to be around the circle as much as possible. Since they couldn't afford or get into any of the private clubs or restaurants Lara and her friends frequented, they made sure they were in the same church with them. She smiled back at them and thought of how Funke would have scolded her if she caught her smiling at the people she called the "lost causes"

 

Once Lara had gotten a good view of everyone present in the church, she re adjusted in her seat and tried to focus on whatever the pastor was saying but as it was practically impossible to understand his English, she let her mind wander. She thought about what she was going to say to her father the moment she caught him alone and whether or not she was going to tell her mother and Funke about what Ade did yesterday. The pastor announced that everybody should rise for the closing prayer and Lara muttered "thank God" under her breath.

 

"What did you say darling?" Her mother whispered.

 

"I said thank God." Lara replied and her mother smiled.

 

"Please tell me you are coming for dinner tonight?"

 

"Of course I am. Why would you think I won't?"

 

Her mother shrugged, "Well, you know. You've been saying you are bored and all."

 

Lara smiled and squeezed her mother's hands, "Your parties bore me, but it doesn't mean I'll stop attending them. At least not till I find something meaningful to do"

With all my love,

Dara Rhodes

Travesty (3)

She closed her eyes and when she opened them again, they were pulling into the driveway of the Oriental Hotel. She sat up and gathered herself together. She stuffed her phone and the huge ring into her bag and checked her makeup and smile in her small face mirror. The car stopped at the entrance and Richard opened the door for her and as she stepped out, she smiled at the lights from all the cameras around her as the cameramen all shouted "Madam Lara DaSilva or Lara DaSilva over here!" Richard warded them off and led her into the gigantic lobby. Chandeliers hung everywhere and the marble floor shone as stewards served glasses of champagne and d'eovres. She smiled politely and kissed everyone's cheeks as they made their way into the hall.

 

The table with her name was right at the front of the hall and because she had forgotten to cancel Ade's reservation, the seat beside hers still had his name on it. Daisies and roses sat at the centre of all the tables and red and yellow silk drapes hung across the room. She and Ade were the only young people on her table and as the elderly people filled all the other empty seats, Lara wondered what the planner was thinking when she set the seating arrangement. Nonetheless, they were all her parents friends so after they asked her where Ade was and she said London, they settled into easy and light chatter. The music by the live band blared over the speakers too close to her and gave Lara a throbbing headache but she smiled and waved or smiled and hugged whoever spotted her. The stage had two huge golden chairs that were set up like thrones surrounded by about ten dozen roses.

 

The main doors closed in preparation for the couple's entrance and Lara already wanted it to be over. She smiled and clapped as the couple made their way to the front and when Susan saw her, she stopped and hugged and kissed her cheeks like they were good friends. She looked like a little girl trapped in a candy shop, the excitement on her face was plain for all to see and Lara couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealously at how happy she was. They shared a room in year ten at their boarding school in Taunton for one term and while she didn't love her, she didn't mind her either. She thought Susan cried too much and suffered severely from the poor little rich girl syndrome. Her husband or the man she was marrying wasn't really in the Lagos circle. His family had money but they lived in London instead of Lagos thus even though he moved to Lagos when they all moved back after university, he still wasn't fully accepted. The circle looked down on people who lived in London or New York or Paris no matter how much money they had and although it was a very small circle, it was divided into two groups, the political dynasties that ruled the country and the social families that threw the best and most frequent parties.

 

Lara's family, the DaSilva's were the leading political family and Ade's family, the Danteta's were the leading social family. Ade's Sr was the first person in their entire lineage to delve into public politics. The entire family believed they were higher than the politics of the country even though everyone knew they got all the money for their lavish and ludicrous parties from the behind the scenes politics. All the other families in the society fell under either family and unfortunately, Susan's husband, Desmond, didn't belong under either.

 

She congratulated Susan and Desmond and he thanked her with his strong posh British accent that only excluded him further. Once they seated on their thrones, the crowd settled and the ceremony begun. The M.C, Flavour, had officiated the last seven wedding receptions Lara had attended and when he strolled unto the stage in his Armani suit, she rolled her eyes. She had really hoped, he wouldn't be the one at this wedding again. She only ate the finger foods and drank water, she wasn't feeling festive at all, yet she smiled and carried on talking and laughing with her elderly table mates. She kept her eyes on the time and the moment she had spent three hours at the reception, she kissed everyone on her table goodbye and lied that she had a meeting with her mother. They all sent their greetings to her and she snuck out of the room as inconspicuously as possible, returning waves and blowing kisses back till she was out of the hall. She exhaled and as she spotted Richard walking towards her, her heart sank, she wanted a moment to herself.

 

"Lara DaSilva?"

 

Lara fumed that somebody wanted to engage her in meaningless conversation again and contemplated pretending she didn't hear but her curiosity to see who owned the sweet and strong voice over powered her, so she turned. A tall, trim fair skinned pretty woman wearing a black evening dress stared at her with a smile playing on her lips. Lara, didn't recognise her but there was something strangely familiar about her and she was sure she wasn't at the reception, she knew everybody there. She tilted her head sideways and smiled a half smile, "That's me but I'm sorry, have we met before?"

 

The lady stretched forth her perfectly manicured hand for a handshake and smiled again, "I'm Tolu Abebi. I knew that was you, you haven't changed much."

 

Lara's mouth dropped as she stared at the woman in front of her, "Oh my gosh! Tolu Abebi?" She said finally and shook her hand firmly, "It's been forever, we were ten years old the last time we saw each other! I mean I just heard you arrived in Lagos this morning and now you're here," She said and smiled.

 

"You heard I arrived in Lagos? I don't remember announcing my arrival," Tolu said jokingly.

 

Lara laughed, "Oh, you know." She said shrugging, "This is Lagos, everything you do here is announced," Tolu laughed back and Lara smiled, "I'm really pleased to see you again Tolu. What are you doing here?"

 

Tolu blinked rapidly and smiled, "Well, my father is from Lagos you know, I think that makes it mine too, Lara,"

 

Lara laughed again, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean what are you doing in Lagos, I meant that what are you doing in this hotel now? You look like you are attending a dinner party, but the wedding i just left is the only event here today,"

 

"Oh, no, I'm staying at this hotel, I was on my way out actually," She replied and winked, "Believe it or not, I'm here on a mission and every second counts."

 

Tolu's strong charm drew her in and Lara was certain that if everyone in their class that bullied her saw her now, they'd be just as drawn to her as she was. "That sounds very interesting." She said and then said something that surprised her, "If you don't mind me asking, would you like to stay at my flat? I know I haven't seen you in donkey years and you are not sure if I'm a serial killer but my flat is relatively new and awfully lonely and I have about four extra rooms," She said all at once.

 

"First of all, I would love to stay at your flat, secondly, I am certain you are not a serial killer, I have heard your name almost twenty times since I've been in Lagos in all the most glamorous places and it's not even been a full day and lastly, I am very sure your new flat is awfully lonely," Tolu replied and smiled.

 

Lara smiled back but was taken aback a little by her confidence and certainty. She hadn't expected her to accept the offer and a tiny tiny part of her told her to withdraw it but she was in a weird mood today, so she ignored it. They exchanged numbers and Lara said she'd send Samuel to pick her up the next morning. They hugged before they parted, and Richard appeared at her side the moment Tolu was gone. She smiled at him genuinely for the first time that day and he led her to her car.

Travesty (2)

Lara stepped out of the bath and dressed in her yellow lace iro and buba quickly, it was already eleven thirty and the reception started at noon. She never got anywhere early because of all the preparations she always needed to do and because traffic is synonymous with Lagos. She walked into her spacious monochrome living room with her red gele under one arm and saw her make up artist, Kemi sitting in the leather arm chair beside the white grand piano with three suitcases of make-up by her feet. Kemi rose immediately Lara walked in and greeted her nervously. Lara acknowledged her greeting and sat on the long black sofa. She laughed at Kemi to herself because even though she came to her flat every Saturday, she still behaved like every time was her first time.

"Who chooses yellow and red as wedding colours?" Lara asked jokingly trying to make her feel slightly more comfortable.

"Ma, I think they are nice colours," Kemi said as she put the base for foundation on Lara's face.

"I guess so," She replied and smiled. "Those shades of orange and blue the Adebisi's used for their wedding last week was so much more horrendous, right?"

Kemi cracked a laugh and Lara smiled again, she had accomplished her mission. She didn't say another thing till her face was done and her gele firmly tied on her head. Lucy kept peeking into the living room and Lara pretended she didn't see her every time she did. She treated Lara like her little baby and while some times, Lara was grateful for her watchful eyes, most times, she could do without it. An hour later, Lara was finally ready to leave her flat. She had a private elevator that opened into her living room and a guard who seemed like he was always in it. She put on her red soled pumps and her little black Chanel bag hung on her shoulder as she stepped into it. The guard greeted her like he normally did, stiff and a little too formal for someone she saw everyday and she returned his greeting warmly. When she stepped out of the elevator and into her private garage, her driver, Samuel, was waiting by her Bentley. He bowed immediately he saw her and her bodyguard, Richard, who was already sitting in the front of the car, jumped out, greeted her and opened the back door for her.

She slid in and the mobile police car that preceded her everytime she went to formal events, started moving. They pulled out of the dark garage and the sun shining bright in the sky blinded her eyes. She dug out her sunglasses and Ade's package that she stuffed into her bag before she left her flat tumbled out of it. She quickly put on the sunglasses and opened the brown packaging to reveal a tiny blue Cartier box. Shaking her head vigorously, she opened the box with more force than intended and inhaled sharply when she saw the huge diamond ring encrusted with about one million tiny ruby stones staring at her. She studied it as it glistened in the sun and a lone tear rolled down her face. Then she immediately grabbed her phone and called Ade who answered on the third ring.

"Hello babe," he said, sleep etched on his voice. Lara opened her mouth but no sound came out of it. "Hello? Babe? Did you get the ring? So will you marry me?"

Another tear ran down her face and she used her silk handkerchief to wipe it away carefully before it messed up her make up. She shook her head and looked out her window, little children begging were pressed against it. She turned away from them, breathed in and spoke, "Adelowo William Danteta, this is not the way to propose to a girl," She exhaled. "Didn't Eton or Harvard teach you that?"

"I should have known you'd find a problem," He replied flatly. "You always do. Well, I have proposed, what else do you want from me now?"

"What has happened to you Ade? What has happened to us?" She said, her voice shaking.

"Look Lara, I was asleep." He replied and sighed. "I had a rough night and I have a meeting tonight so I need sleep. Can we talk about this some other time?"

"I can't believe you Ade," She replied quietly. "I was actually dreading speaking to you. I should have called earlier but I really didn't want to. Can you imagine that? How can I be dreading speaking to the person I am meant to be marrying and I didn't even know this is what you were planning."

"Alright Lara," he breathed out. "You have too much drama for one human being. I am coming back to Lagos in three days. Do you think you will be able to survive without committing suicide till then? We'll talk about everything then but right now I'm too tired for you. Do whatever you want to do with that ring, I'll bring another one with me. I got a reminder that today is Susan's wedding so I'm guessing you are on your way there, send her my best wishes and I'll talk to you later," He said and hung up without waiting for reply.

Lara threw the phone and ring unto the empty space beside her and folded her arms. "Unbelievable. Un- freaking- believable. Ade has really outdone himself," She said to herself. She looked out her window, they were in traffic again and the children begging surrounded her again. She opened her bag and pulled out her white envelope filled with crisp clean notes that she was meant to use on the dance floor of the reception and wound down her window and handed it to the first hand she felt against hers. She knew she wasn't meant to ever do that, but the anger surging through her strangely exhilarated her. The children fought over it immediately the envelope left her hand and her car lurched forward like Samuel was trying to get her away from the scene and she smiled to herself.  She didn't feel like going to the wedding anymore but she had gotten dressed and there was no where else she could go looking the way she did.

"We are nearly there, ma," Richard said and Lara sighed and looked out at her city. The hawkers, beggars and the roadside sellers all looked so terrible with frowns on their faces, as they chased after cars and sweat dripped off their bodies like oil. Paradise and hell sat side by side comfortably in Lagos, great affluence and great poverty were best friends in this city but somehow, she'd only ever seen one side.

To be continued tomorrow. 

P.S: I just realized I haven't said this. Please bear with my writing. I wrote this quite hurriedly because I didn't want to miss/forget the important parts of what was unfolding before me. Also please note that this is the first story that I'm letting people read which hasn't been edited by an editor or copyeditor so try not to be too harsh in your judgments and just try to enjoy the story. Merci! 

Have a great day, y'all!!

With all my love,

Dara Rhodes