Tunji Braithwaite & Dara Rhodes

I lost my grandfather on the 28 of March this year and I still can't believe it. I have started and scrapped this post over a thousand times since then, unable to write about him in past tense.

All my life till that day in March, Tunji Braithwaite was just my over-involved-in-my-life grandpa. He wanted to know how I was doing in school, how I was doing at work, what I wanted to be and how I planned on getting there. I disagreed with him and he disagreed with me. When he upset me, I wrote him strong messages and when he gladdened me, I gave him big hugs. I lived with him, played with him, fought with him, prayed with him, followed him to places, learnt from him but most importantly loved him with all of me. He was the first person to tell me I'm gifted and the second person (only after my father) to tell me that there's "something" about me.

His death really shook me because I was always sure he'd be at my wedding, sure he'd bless my children at their naming ceremonies. I assumed he'd be the one that will pray over my own mansion. I assumed, he'd always be there,  fighting and loving. Yes, he was 82 but death never crossed my mind whenever I thought about him. I worried about him turning 90 and prayed that he'd never loose his strength but I never ever worried that he might die soon.

He called me Dara Rhodes before I even knew what that meant, read every article I wrote, constantly told me to be fearless and constantly reminded me that I am his granddaughter. So today, I am nothing but grateful. Grateful to have known you as well as I did and grateful to have your blood in me. 

Since that day, I have read and listened to hundreds of people and articles talk and write about my grandpa. And even though I'm sure you didn't know grandpa, your people really loved you.

This one is for you Olatunji Akintunde Braithwaite, thank you for every single thing and I promise to never forget.

From the bottom of my heart,

Dara Rhodes

Abimbola Elizabeth Rhodes (nee- Da Silva)

To Lagos,  Abimbola Elizabeth Rhodes (nee- Da Silva) was the Iyalode,  queen of all its women. 

To Ile- Ife, she is Yeye Apesin, a goddess. 

To her husband, the sun rose and fell at her feet.

At every party she ever attended or hosted, her presence drew attention like the earth draws light from the moon at night. 

To her sisters, she was the imperious voice of command.

To my mother's father, she was very mischievous and literally one of a kind.

All her staff remember her as, the madam that took absolutely no nonsense. 

To her sons and daughter, she was the entire world.

but, to me, a shy little girl, she was only my grandmother. My grandmother who behaved like Queen Elizabeth and whom I loved and adored with all my heart.  

As I grew and silently watched her though, I saw that she wasn't just my little grandma, I saw that she was a powerful lioness that no one in the country dared to cross.. The writing of this post began at the start of this year and I still have no words to fully describe her because of the sheer complexity of her nature and because the more I thought about her, the more I wished I had spent more time with her. 

How could God have given me one of the fiercest women Lagos has ever seen and I didn't spend time with her? How could God have given me such a precious gift and I never opened it? Yet, as if telling me that we are not our mistakes, I feel her so strongly around me. All the time. Reminding me that she gave me all her names for a reason. Reminding me that she was me and I am her. 

I feel her telling me that as long as there is life, there is hope. I feel her telling me that real family is everything. I feel her telling me not to make the same mistakes she did and find God early. I feel her telling me that I am a queen and queens never crawl. I feel her telling me to never lose my dignity and pride. I feel her telling me to never despair and never give up. I feel her telling me to live and learn, to love deeply and fight fiercely for what I believe. I feel her telling me that I must never forget who I am. These words carry me when I get weak and as I remember her on this day, I hope they carry you too when you get tired.

My phenomenal grandmother left us on the 9th of February 2013 and today, three years after her departure, my heart whispers that, Lagos might have lost its first Abimbola Elizabeth Rhodes but Abimbola Elizabeth Rhodes 2.0, an improved, faster, sharper and tad bit less ferocious version is currently in the works. 

I love you forever and ever grandma and Lagos will never forget you.

With all my love, 

Dara Abimbola Elizabeth Rhodes