Understanding

When I turned 20 years old, my aim for this year was to nurture and cherish all the relationships in my life. As such, I've been thinking a lot about relationships lately. 

One word keeps coming to my mind. Understanding. What you understand, you can accept, what you accept, you can love. I love my two best friends from the bottom of my heart and I have just realized that I love the both of them because I understand them. I understand where they are coming from, so it's easier to be patient, kind and not envious. It's easier to be humble, polite and it's easier to refrain from anger. More so, it's easier to keep believing, keep hoping and it's easier to endure things. 

 My girl best friend was easier to understand but my boy best friend? Lord have mercy. The saying that men are from Mars and girls are from Venus couldn't have been more appropriate when I met him. 5 years on, after a gazillion fights, we can say we finally understand ourselves. Praise The Lord. 

I still think love is the most important thing in a relationship. But I believe that the foundation for love is understanding. Once the foundation has been laid, then and only then can love flourish. As usual, the world has it twisted again. Many of us seek to love first, and then try to understand. Little wonder relationships are so messed up these days. Love without understanding is too ambiguous. It means too many different things to different people. For example, people think love is when he hits you, some others think love is when he can't keep his hands off you and some think love is when you and your best friend talk for hours passing advice back and forth. 

Then again, I think love is a choice. So here's what I've concluded. If you choose to love someone, make sure you seek to understand that person first. 

With all my love,

Dara Rhodes. 

Seek to understand first. Photo: kyliemcgrr.com

Flinstones and the 2015 elections?? What??

The time for elections in Nigeria have come again. Recently, my father likened the Lagos politics to the famed Fred Flintstones and his Dinosaur, Dino. I remember being thoroughly confused but as usual, he cleared my confusion. My father explained that like Dino ran into the house and locked Fred out at the outro of the cartoon, the real people that care for and can affect the lives of the masses, have been locked out and the Dogs are chilling in the house, lording over the Freds.

I love my father. I love him because he has such a deep perspective on everything and a conversation with him challenges me every time. After pondering on what he told me for days and I literally mean, days, I came to my own conclusion. He is right. The real owners have been locked out of power and while I don't know how to play politics, I strongly believe 2015 elections is another opportunity for them to drag Dino out of the house.

If Fred (the people who really care about the masses) banged on the door long enough and the door opened for just a minute, that minute will be the elections. Thankfully, the door is about to open for a minute again. Let's be ready to fight the dogs and free Lagos for good. 

Fred leads Dino and not the other way round. Photo: unmistakenlycoolarchives.blogspot

Have a great day everyone!

With all my love,

Dara Rhodes

A little something from my heart

It better be worth it.

The tears, the pain, the suffering better be worth it.

The disappointments, the loneliness, the struggle better be worth it. 

The headaches, the backaches, the body aches better be worth it. 

The work, the tossing and turning at 2am, the silence better be worth it. 

Whatever 'it' is, had better be worth everything.

           Photo: Heatherclemons.com

Have a great day everyone! 

From my heart to yours,

Dara Rhodes

Quiet; The farthest thing from weak

Hello everyone,

On the 1st of August 2014, I turned 20. On the 1st of August 2014, I completed my one year internship at CNBC Africa. At the send forth and birthday party at my office, everyone gathered to say a few things to me. The two people I liked the least said the same thing and interestingly, the people that knew me the best, disagreed with them. What did they say? Dara is too quiet and needs to be tougher. Basically.

I remember giggling silently to myself that day. If only they knew the truth. I went quiet around them because I know myself. If I was to say the things I wanted to say about whatever they were discussing (which annoyed me most of the time) there'd have been fights and arguments. Thus, considering they are both significantly older than me and I was just "little Dara" I ignored them and played the part of the  naive girl whenever I had to speak to them. Another thing that struck me was how they had associated my quietness with being weak.

Photo: Intersticia.com

Quiet does not mean weak. I don't know when we are going to realise this. Infact, it means the exact opposite. The quiet person has more time to analyse things and in this world where everyone is talking and no one is listening, that person holds significant power. A classic example is my Maya. Maya Angelou went mute for a couple of years as a child. She probably looked weak and dumb but her mind was very alert and look at what she went on to do.

The people that know me, know that I am far from quiet so for the more outspoken ones, I think we could learn something from quiet people. Sometimes, you really just need to be quiet. You'd be amazed at how much you'll see, notice and learn. For the quiet ones, don't worry, being quiet doesn't mean you are weak. In fact, you'd be surprised at how much power you hold.

Have a great day everyone!

With all my love,
Dara Rhodes

Opportunities

Hello everyone, 

I'm sorry I have been absent for so long, there has been tons going on at the same time. I turned 20 on Friday and it was an amazing day! 

Today, I just want to talk about the word, opportunities because my 19th year was filled with them. We all get opportunities. Infact, I believe that opportunities, time and air are the only things that every single person on earth gets. Yes, even the most downtrodden of us get all those three things but we only seem to be aware of air ignoring the other important two. What is the problem? Surely, if every person on earth has those three things life isn't meant to be so difficult, right? Why don't people maximise the opportunities given to them? 

Here's why. Opportunities often come dressed in overalls called hard work. Oil is buried deep onshore and offshore. Diamonds, gold, minerals are all buried deep. You've got to dig it out. A lot of us think opportunities are dressed fancy and so many times we walk past the one in overalls looking for the ones in summer dresses. Time is also critical because there are seasons of opportunities and when we miss them, we may have to wait a while. 

Finally, don't be discouraged if it seems like you never get any big opportunities. You do and you probably have but you just didn't dig it out well enough. Promise me that the next time you see the ones dressed in dirty overalls, you won't walk on by. 

Have a great day everyone!

With all my love,

Dara Rhodes