The cloud that never leaves

     Photo credit: bengaliclicker.com

Can I tell you about the cloud that never leaves?

The cloud doesn’t care about who you are. The cloud doesn’t care about how much money you have or what your family has. The cloud doesn’t care about how amazing you are or how much everyone around you loves you. It doesn’t care that you have a beautiful life. 

The cloud only cares about consuming you. About filling you with hopelessness too great for words.

It hangs and lurks. Hangs above you, never letting you out of its sight. Lurks, in the shadows waiting for the perfect moment to pounce and attack. Always waiting and always ready.

The cloud may leave you in peace today but it can’t promise you won’t have a category 5 hurricane tomorrow morning. 

When you are sad and you don’t know why because you have no reason to be sad, it’s the cloud. When you cry and you don’t know why because you have no reason to cry, it’s the cloud.

It’s not you, it’s the cloud. The cloud is a demon. The doctors call it depression but you know it’s a demon. A demon pretending to be a cloud. 

When the cloud releases what it is carrying, when it releases the thunderstorms, category 5 hurricanes, snow, rain and hailstones all at once, don’t fight back. How can you? 

Stand. Stand or sit or cry but don’t break. Don’t let the weight of it all crush you. 

You must not let it crush you. You must not break. You must rise up. 

Rise up and burn. Burn the whole building down, burn and keep burning till the flames go up into the cloud and the cloud leaves. Even if it is for a moment. 

What triggers this attack? What triggers such a horrible attack? A cruel word said innocently, an overwhelming situation, confusion, happiness, good things, nothing. 

But when the demon attacks, it attacks in full force. It pounces on your mind and devours it completely till you feel like you cannot breathe. 

People see sadness on your face but have no idea that the sadness in your heart is greater than what your face can ever express. 

People see you sad and think you just want attention when the only thing you want, is to disappear. 

“You have no reason to be sad” they say. 

“Well, tell that to the demon behind me or the cloud above me,” I think, but don’t say. 

To the people that know this cloud, this demon they call depression, know that everything will be okay. Maybe not today but someday it will be. 

And to the people that don’t know this cloud, the cloud that never leaves, thank God every single day.

With all my love,
Dara Rhodes