Last.

      We seem to be locked in this cycle of "all things first". Especially in this part of the world. First to finish school, first to get a job, first to marry, first to buy the latest car. Sad truth? Many of us are begining to live our lives for these first tittles. Afterall, "Warri no dey carry last" Yet, I can't help but think that the people who come in 'last' are somehow the true winners.

       First of all, each and every single one of us are on very different journeys. So please tell me the wisdom in using one ruler to judge all our progresses. Some may have to go back to go forward and others may have to go really slowly to reach their destination in one piece. Who really gave us the power/ right to judge another person's journey? That your child and my child were in the same class but your child had to repeat a year, hence finishing a year later does not in any way imply that my child will be more successful than yours. Infact, I've found that most times, the later or slower ones tend to be the more successful ones. The fable of the hare and tortoise we are all so familiar with comes to my mind now. Maybe "slow and steady" really does win the race.

          "Late bloomers" are another example. Ever noticed how the girls in senior school/high school that mature last are most times the unpopular and uncool ones and boys seem to always gather around the early bloomers like bees and honey? Well, boys have testified time and time again that in the end (when everyone in the class eventually matures) the late bloomers are usually much better looking than the early bloomers. Unfortunately and this is the irony of life, the boys realise this long after the senior/high school days are over. You see, I believe that the slow and steady development in the late boomer girls is what causes them to outshine their early blooming counterparts, in the end, For the slow or late ones, please don't be deterred by the early craze. You will win at the end of it all.

    Finally, in a world where everybody is hurrying to only God knows where, don't be afraid to go slow and enjoy your own journey.


Have a wonderful day beautiful people!

With all my love,
Dárà Rhodes x

Different.

       "I like you. You are so different from everybody in your family." My first reaction was "omg, not again." He was not the first to tell me this but I've known this man for less than a month. Surely, I'm not that obviously different! As I was wondering what my driver meant by that statement I couldn't help but ponder a bit on the word "different". He likes that I'm different so that's good right? But, does that mean that my family is bad for being the same? I'll like to hope not. What I'm trying to say is, I believe that there will always be some "different" people. However, for them to be different, there has to be "same" or "normal".

       I wish I could say being different is always wonderful, beautiful and amazing. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure it is, sometimes, mais (BUT in french) most times its really not. Certainly doesn't feel it. You just can't pretend to to "normal" even when that's all you want to be. Infact the biggest problem with being different is the gross loneliness that comes with the tittle. With normal or same, people to advise you abound but when you are different or doing something nobody has done before, who can advise you? Instead, they start questioning your every move. "Are you alright?" "Are you sure about this?" You are forced to be courageous on a daily basis. You are forced to be strong daily. You are forced to be brave.

        To all my fellow different people out there, embrace it. I know its difficult sometimes especially when you are different by default, mais it is a beautiful thing. Everybody that likes me likes me because I'm different. They like me because I'm me. I don't hear people say, "I like you, you are the same as everybody I know". Different people make the world interesting. Different people make the world, the world. If everyone in this world was the same or normal, God knows I'd have relocated to Mars as soon as I could walk. It can be hard being different especially when its like people see you and see different written on your forehead. Nonetheless, I've found that, until we can learn to love our differences, we won't truly love ourselves.

Have a wonderful day beautiful people!

With all my love,
Dárà Rhodes x

Sweet nothings.

       I think we all need to hear sweet nothings from time to time. Does everything really have to be deep and meaningful? Sometimes we just need to hear words of endearment. However, I can't help but wonder if its the need to hear these words that drive many of us into futile or even damaging relationships?


    Before you start thinking, "Dara don't be ridiculous" hear me out. Maybe words are too light. I'll use actions. Could the need for actions that on the grand scale mean nothing and that'll most likely do more harm than good be the drive of many of our relationships? I hate wasting time and even more importantly, I hate other people wasting my time. So maybe that's why I cannot understand why people enter into some relationships knowing its doomed from the start. The only conclusion my little brain can gather from this is; sometimes human beings just want sweet nothings.


     Consequences? We don't want to think about them. No, no. We'll deal with them when they come later. Much later. When perhaps its too late to undo the disastrous deeds. Can't think of an example of what I'm saying? I'll give you one. A boy and girl or man and woman know that the 'thing' between them isn't going anywhere yet (because "he tells me sweet things" or is loving sometimes), the girl/woman ends up pregnant with a child neither of them really want or can cater for. If this isn't a good example of sweet nothings and its consequences, then I really don't know what is.


    In conclusion, to me, sweet nothings are a waste. A waste of everything. A waste of words. A waste of time. A waste of energy. Why say or do something you don't mean? And before you say, but Dara, its affectionate, if you truly want to be affectionate, why not say and do what you really mean? Or has something happened to, honesty is the best policy? Lol. Excuse my pessimism. Sweet nothings can be wonderful. Especially when its the right person saying those words or doing those things. However, until then, I'd much rather the wrong people save it.

Have a wonderful day beautiful people!


With all my love,
Dárà Rhodes x

Little.

     I love children. I really do. The innocence and purity of a child is unmatched. I'm slowly coming to believe that an adult is a child only with boundaries, systems and problems. Do we really need these boundaries and systems?

    I saw the children (well, I guess they are adults now) I played with as a child and my mouth literally dropped. We ate on the same table in my house till we were full and then ran outside to play till we were too weak to walk. In the evenings, we sat and told each other stories for hours, till our parents returned from work and scattered us. They taught me how to play "10/10 and tinko" and I taught them how to play hopscotch. They've always lived in the boys quarters but that never even occurred to me. Thinking about it now, I wonder where I thought they came from. Probably never even thought about it. I was too grateful to have playmates day in, day out. I spent everyday of my holidays with these 'friends' and there was no difference between any of us. It certainly felt like there wasn't. Fast forward, 10 years. The difference in our lives is unbelievable. Maybe it was obvious from the beginning but my point and the point of this post is that, it didn't matter. Why? Because I was little. As I drove past one of my 'friends' sitting by a stall selling petty things on the roadside, I had only two questions. 1) Are we doomed or esteemed from birth? ( is life is really that straightforward?) 2) Why doesn't it matter when we are little?

   No doubt, the "real world" is harsh, mean and unfair. Maybe that's why little children are always so happy. Afterall, they're not in the real world. Yet. Would this world be better if we didn't throw away the 'little' minds we developed as children? Would this world be fairer if race, disabilities, background and class systems didn't matter to us the way they don't matter to little children? At what age did we discard "little"? Is our new found 'big' really doing the best for us? I wish I knew the answers to these questions but I really don't. As I sit and wonder, I hope, no, I pray, we haven't made a terrible mistake by trading in little for big.

Have a wonderful day beautiful people!

With all my love,
Dárà Rhodes x

Next.

  What's next? We live in a world where what is next is nearly more important than what is now. From the day we are born, we are taught to anticipate what is next. While its a blessing, I mean its a sign of progress and forward movement, I can't help but think that this is also a curse.

   Many of us enter relationships with our minds subconsciously thinking, "who's next?" and then wonder what happened when the relationship hits a brick wall and both parties abscond. Even more scarily, many a times we enter into marriages with this same mindset. Worse still, many of us can't believe that after marriage, there's no 'next'. Why are we so eager to find out what or who is next? And why is it so hard for us to understand that peharps, there is nothing next. Who knows, maybe we may actually begin to enjoy now.

    Now is beautiful. Now is all we have. Now is all we are sure of. I understand that we are progressive creatures but will we die if we just savoured the time we are given in sweet moments called now? I highly doubt that. Many times, we spend our time counting down days or waiting for the 30th of a month that only began. Will we ever be satisfied with just now? With nothing next? I don't know. However I do that to be in constant anticipation of what is next cannot be good for any of us. Relax, have a good day and don't waste now, thinking about what's next!

Have a wonderful day beautiful people!

With all my love,
Dárà Rhodes x

19

So so grateful for life. As I begin my 19th year on earth today, I wish you all a wonderful new month.

Have a wonderful day, beautiful people!

With all my love,
Dárà Rhodes x