Alone

I believe there are two types of loneliness. There’s the loneliness when you are in the midst of people and then there’s the loneliness that comes from literally not having anybody with you or around you. While some people will claim to only suffer from one or to have only suffered from one type, I have suffered both. Secretly, I think we all have.

Let’s start with the first type. I think its worse but maybe that’s just me. Maybe because I’m such an observer, being lonely in a large crowd is amplified. The fact that I am alone when there are so many people around is amplified. Everything everyone around me does is amplified. The fact that I’m such an odd ball is amplified.

The second type is bad. Very bad. Especially if you’ve experienced it on the levels I have. Don’t get me wrong, I love being alone. Like literally. That’s when I meditate, that’s when I can think, and that’s when I can be my odd self completely. Nonetheless, this type of loneliness can get to a level where I wouldn’t even wish it on my worst enemy.

I come from a family where there are always people around. Like always always. If the people aren’t family members, they are my family’s staff. Still yet, I feel like the 52 Hertz whale.

 I feel like no one quite understands the language I’m speaking yet. Worst part? I feel like there are millions of people who feel this same way. No. I know that there are millions of people who feel this same way.

I wish I had something magnificent to say or something that will make us all feel better on our loneliest of days but I don’t. I honestly don’t. All I have is a prayer and that prayer is that somehow, someday, we all find someone that truly understands our language. Somebody that hears us and we hear.

Have a wonderful day

With all my love,

Dárà Rhodes x