Don't lock the door.

I get home, say a quick hello to everyone, run into my room and lock my door. That was my routine every single evening. Then, at work yesterday, I was googling how to get rid of boredom. How ironic. 

Everyday different people in the house would come to my door and knock on it several times either to ask me to come down to eat or to talk to me but I never opened the door. I'd hear them banging on the door and calling out to me but I always pretended like I was asleep. "People have too much drama, I've had a long day at work, I'm tired and I just want to be alone" I used to tell myself. 

On Wednesday, I was too ill to go to work so my door was open throughout the day for everyone to come in and check up on me. My room saw more visitors than it had ever seen on that day, that I am sure of. However, the moment I felt slightly better and the clock hit 7 PM, my doors shut for the day and the knockings began.

I love princess Elsa in Frozen because she kinda reminded me of me only she's a fictional character and I am real. Yesterday evening, I decided to try an experiment. I came home, did the routine and then unlocked my door to see if anyone will knock or try to come in. Surprise surprise, absolutely no one did. I felt bad that no one came to check on me till I heard the cook asking the housekeeper to call me outside my room. Her reply hit me like a slap across my face.

"Ah, Dara is sleeping or her room will be locked. Don't worry about her, you can close. Dara is not coming out again today"

I wanted to go out and scream, that's a lie but I knew it was the truth. Sometimes, we really are our own worst enemies. I complained of being bored but wasn't really ready to let anyone in. Even now I still secretly wonder if I am. I know many of us are like that if we'll be honest with ourselves. Last night taught me a painful truth. You can't lock yourself in and expect to be a star the moment you unlock the door. The truth about this world is, it's never that deep (as my friends my age said once upon a time) when you lock yourself in, you secretly hope that everyone is waiting for you to unlock the door. At first, everyone may be waiting but after a while even the most faithful will stop knocking. 

My housekeeper, Miss Iyabo was the one I could vouch will come knocking. She knocks several times every evening but her reply to the cook showed that even she was tired of knocking. The worst part? my door is now going to have to be unlocked for twice as long as it was locked. It has been locked for so long, I am going to need to get used to it being unlocked first before I can even begin to entertain visitors.

Beloved beautiful people, don't make the same mistake as I have. Unlock that door as quickly as possible!

With all my love,

Dara Rhodes