Let us stop deceiving ourselves

There is only one thing that makes me angry. Like really really angry and it’s when people know the truth but pretend that because it’s ‘terrible’ it’s not the truth. I’ll explain.

Let me start with my country, Nigeria. This theory has made people think I’m pro- Jonathan and pro-government when in actual fact I am pro-nothing. Infact this simple line has brought me more insult than any other thing I’ve said. What is the line?

“I don’t think Jonathan is worse than any other president we have had and I don’t think his government is worse than previous governments,”

This doesn’t mean he is better but he is certainly not the worst or even close to the worst. In my books, President Goodluck just has a little bit of bad luck with the timing in which he became president. What’s the badluck? Well, the media is much more powerful now and even worse, it is much more accessible. If this was the case in any of the previous governments, they would have pretty much have had the same if not worse troubles than President Jonathan has. That I am sure of.

I don’t know if Nigerians know this and its fine if they don’t but what pisses me off is when they start screaming he is the worst president ever. In 2012, someone even told me that he was named the worst president in the world. Don’t get it wrong, I am no means his fan but I think that statement is very false. Infact, I’m secretly  convinced we all know he is not the problem but it’s easier for us to deceive ourselves and attack every president in power than face or look for the real problem.

If we are being very honest with ourselves, which Nigerian president has actually done something? Certainly none that have been in power since I was born. We all know the problem is not whichever president we have. I’m sure we do. The real problem are the godfathers, the real people who are in power and change the presidents every election year. Well, I’ll like to believe we know that but even if the average Nigerian doesn’t know that, they know that things have been the same for a pretty long time despite the different presidents we’ve had so they must have realised that something is wrong and it’s not from the president in power.

Dara, where are you going with this? Simple. Our problem is leadership not Goodluck Jonathan and the real solution to this problem is not to get rid of Jonathan and worry about who the next president will be.

The real solution to this problem are the youth. Now, I’m not even talking about people my age or slightly younger (The future corrupt ones have already set) Maybe youth is not the right word. The real solution to this problem are the children. Yes. I’m talking about the baby in your house or your neighbourhood. That child that turns 10 next week or the child that was born last year. They are the solution to Nigeria. If we can get them young and teach them everything that we want Jonathan to be, we will have a greater chance at saving this country than attacking every president that enters government.

So, let us stop deceiving ourselves that President Goodluck Jonathan is the problem and instead use the energy we want to expend fighting him to raise the future president and or government officials in our care today.

With all my love,

Dara Rhodes.

Hair

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie once said hair is a political thing. She couldn't have been more right. It amazes me how little, Africans know about their natural hair. 

The first thing people say when they see my hair is, "how do you manage it?" Or "how do you comb it?" Isn't it sad that they don't know how to manage or comb their natural hair but know how to style, protect and manage relaxed hair? Isn't it sad that they immediately assume I'm 'very Afrocentric' because I keep my hair the way it was made by God?

I met a Zambian girl (Lulu) that was visiting Nigeria for the first time and the first thing she said to me was, "I love your hair!" Then she went on to tell me about how she has natural hair underneath her braids too and showed me pictures on her phone. That made my evening. There I was, sharing an instant connection with another African girl who had been in Lagos for less than 24 hours. Infact  it made my week. I'm happy there's a 'natural hair trend' now but what will make me happier is if it turns from a trend to a lifestyle. What will happen if relaxers become a thing of the past? What will happen if every single girl that has gone natural stays natural till she dies? Won't that be beautiful?

If you still think natural hair is bad or difficult to maintain, its not your fault. I once thought that too. Its the fault of your mother and her mother. Please don't put chemicals on your daughter's hair. Teach her to comb it only when it is fully moisturised. Teach her to go to sleep wearing a silk scarf. Teach her to love her hair. The day I cut my hair, I hated it. I tried to cover it up or not go anywhere. Then one unceremonious morning, while staring in the mirror, I fell in love. I feel in love with its texture, its curls, the way it looked. I have never loved my hair the way I love it now. Its amazing. This is freedom.

Lulu told me this, "until you love your natural hair, I don't think you can ever fully love yourself" and she is very right. If you don't see yourself ever going natural, that's fine. But, please give your daughters a chance. Don't reinforce the opinions of your mother and grandmother in their little minds. Teach them to love every inch of themselves including the hair they are born with. After all, they are beautiful.

Have a wonderful day!

 

With all my love,

Dárà Rhodes x